Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?