I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.