This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell