question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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