You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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