: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party