Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.