omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.