I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.