under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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