i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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