My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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