My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
