i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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