i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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