Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
