i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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