i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
