Where is the hickey?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
