I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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