he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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