Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.