I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
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They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.