I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture