Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize