I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize