Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dear god my vagina.
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