Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die