Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.