Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...