R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...