I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My butt remains clenched, sir.