We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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