Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
