You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
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just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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