it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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