I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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