he puts the penis in happiness.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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