oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.