I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize