I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
