i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize