I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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