I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
