I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
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My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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