Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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