ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
