i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize