He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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