I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The air was thick with penises
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize