Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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