you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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