I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.