I hate all girls vehemently.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.