I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.