But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them