I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.