I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.