Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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