I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize