I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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