How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize