So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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