I just saw a hot homeless man
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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