the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We have started to decorate penises.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize